Mirror Image Edutainment, Alan John Mayer

CAVEAT EMPTOR (Buyer beware!)

STAY AWAY FROM AT$T, one of the nation’s top promoters of division and discrimination!

Just because you are told you can “get a new electronic device every year” is not a reason to get into bed with a whore.

You will regret it.

I did.

This is one of my longest posts, but if you are looking for a cell phone or television carrier, YOU NEED TO READ THIS. Because American Telephone and Telegraph includes the word “American” in their name, I thought they would be a good choice, like the American Automobile Association.

but I was disturbingly wrong.

Even after I managed to kick them out of my bedroom, AT$T continues to haunt me several times a month with bills, solicitations, and surveys, — the results of which they never read. I wasted my time to respond to their inquiry as to their “service”, but they ignored me; their inquiries are only lip service, to look good in the eye of the consumer. They only want to hear from people who are happy to get a new phone every year. In spite of my input, they continue to bombard my physical and viral mailboxes, with requests for more money, and solicitations.

Thank God I finally got them to stop texting me twenty times a day whenever they wanted money.

AT$T provides NO SERVICE. The company only takes, hiding behind the name American , only to pull people in and cheat them. In my ignorance, I thought I would be dealing with a reputable firm like AAA, the American Automobile Association, a company with whom I have been doing business since 1980, a company whom I give a


rating to, along with



and Trader Joes


These companies stand out in their field. They provide true customer service — and they do it with English speaking SERVICE representatives, and they understand the word service. Patronize these businesses if you want to experience service with a smile.

In all the years I have done business with these companies, never once have I had run into an issue, not even a language barrier issue, with their professional service representatives. I have nothing against foreigners. I myself, am a Germerican. My mother is a foreigner. Okay, bad example. I just want a service representative to understand my life. Okay, so maybe Mummy isn’t such a bad example…

AAA, Netflix, and Trader Joe’s go out of their way to keep customers happy.

Unlike AT$T, these three companies understand the proverb, ‘if a man asks you to walk a mile with him, walk two.” At one time or another, I have done business with every cell phone carrier.

So far, in my experience, Consumer Cellular rates


To be fair, I have only been with Consumer Cellular for two months, and I still have technical challenges getting online, but those challenges were thrown into my path by my locked AT$T purchased i-phone, so no one else could get my business, leaving Consumer Cellular to correct the error.

I may add, Consumer Cellular representatives live in the United States and pay taxes to our government, not to build up some foreign country’s economy with American earned dollars, while depleting our own lifestyle through their greed.

I like speaking with people who don’t make me strain to try and understand what the feck they are trying to say. Don’t get me wrong. I think foreign languages and accents are charming. Just not when I have to explain a situation over and again, not only because the representative on the line doesn’t understand English, but because they lack listening skills, as well.

I am annoyed before their voice prompt even connects me to aperson. How often do I hear, “I’m sorry, I didn’t get that. Let’s try this another way.”

LET’S NOT, you fecking bitch of a machine!

The conversation already begins with me annoyed, which sends my voice up an octave. Then the representative asks my name. I very clearly say A-lan, so as not to be mistaken with ELLEN, something I battled as a youth among my German counterparts. Then they call me Ma’am, even after telling them, three, even four times,


What idiot doesn’t know Alan is a man’s name?

ANSWER: AT$T’s idiots, whose foreign workers toil for a handful of Rupies, mit no benefits. Even my foreign born mother gets my name right. Okay, so she chose it, making it her name, not mine.

AT$T then refused to release my phone number, which I have carried with me for fifteen years. They almost caused me to lose it, — my phone number, and my mind. Phones are “locked” for one reason only — to prevent competitors from making money they want to put into their pockets themselves.

As soon as I signed up with Consumer Cellular, my monthly bill went down FROM SEVENTY EIGHT ($78.00) DOLLARS TO TWENTY ($20.00), for better service, in English, my second language.

Good-bye Indian, and Nicaraguan reps, who work for a third of minimum wage. If American companies would send more teachers to these foreign countries to train their reps in the American way of life, (see the edutaining film Outsourcing, it might work. But that would cost them money, and that goes against the very principal of outsourcing, turning AT$T into hypocrites, who take my dollars, and invest them outside of my country.

“Oh ye Pharasies and hypocrites.”

From the moment the two AT$T LEP (Limited English Proficient) representatives stepped into my home to install their (dis)service, taking over four hours, I was already angered by their incompetency. If I had been as smart as I am now, I would have kicked them out right then and there. Not only did the reps’ lack of English annoy me, the man in charge answered two personal calls on his cell phone (because I may be a Güerro, but I do understand Spanish).

Finally, after more than three hours, a supervisor arrived to get the job done. Once they finally completed the installation, four hours later, I didn’t want to be bothered with asking them to explain anything. Once they left, I realized they had torn out all the wires that previously provided regular television service, which means, now that I have finally gotten them out of my home, I get no service at all. That’s why they disconnected all the wires; to force the consumer into begging


By the time they finally finished, I was so anxious to get them out, I didn’t care what they had to explain. I signed, and thanked the Lord I had my peace again. Now I have no television service at all.

AT$T is still annoying me with solicitations, and they will for the next seven years, because I am not paying them a penny more.

If you must have television service, subscribe to TWC. I recommend staying away from AT$T at all costs.

One AT$T representative does not know what the other is doing. Because they collect in advance for service not provided, I never knew where my payment was applied. Therefore, when they disconnected my service, which happened every other month, I was left cut off from the world completely. They could not understand I wanted to be billed toward the beginning of the month, when I have money, rather than when it was financially beneficial to them. The result was every few months they cut my service, then charged me to reconnect it,

AND charged me five dollars ($5.00)

if I wanted to pay by any other means than the internet, or their kiosk.

When I allowed a direct deduction, thinking it would assure they not cut me off, they took money out when there was no money in the account, causing my bank to charge for insufficient funds. If they had allowed me to use my phone, for which I was charged in advance, I could have made and kept payment arrangements,

but AT$T is not interested in consumer’s needs.

I received numerous DAILY text messages, telling me their bill was due again — in advance, never responding to my input on their surveys. In addition, they left several messages on my voice mail. When I tried to forget there was a whore in my bed who wouldn’t leave, I would sit down in front of my television, and be forced to read a message on my screen, “Your bill is due.” No enjoyment there.

Finally, it took me three trips to get their boxes off to them. Their service center would not accept them. I had to go to UPS. I went across town to the UPS office I know, to find it was closed down. When I carried the equipment into the next UPS office, they could not locate my account by my phone number. I had to go through the rigamarole of finding AT$T’s customer number; for their convenience.

Now AT$T has kindly turned me over to their collection agency, to bring my credit rating down. Such lovely people, I have to love and accept — but not in my bedroom anymore!

There was one good thing about AT$T, and employee named Enrique. Enrique understands customer service, and of his own accord, called a supervisor to credit my bill when I visited. He was one of few of their employees who didn’t have a foul attitude, and he didn’t look like he had been dragged out of bed, like his colleague Schlampe, who greeted me. But after seven years and eight months of service to the company, Enrique finally realized seven is the number of completion, and took a leave of absence to find himself —

to my costly chagrin.

Before leaving, Enrique told me he was required to attend staff meetings every Sunday — on his day off. The man never even had a weekend free without being reminded he was AT$T’s property, a slave to their system. Only Scientology is worse at hounding people. I just heard from Enrique; AT$T fired him, after seven years and eight months on the job, mit out severance pay.

As a former public school teacher, I spent enough time in meetings to understand those who attend meetings keep minutes and waste hours. From time to time, I see a need for meetings, but to hold meetings just for the sake of holding meetings is a waste of time and energy, and on Sundays, it becomes a matter of control, like telling your employees their job is their life, their religion — AT$Tology.

Most meetings are no more than an opportunity for supervisors to stroke their egos. Like the “Church” of Scientology, Enrique’s employer could only leave him alone by firing him, nor will they leave me alone. For two years, I put up with their harassment. I could have given them three hundred dollars and kicked them out, but


This is the route evil companies have taken.

REFUSE to do comply without question.

ALWAYS ask for a supervisor. You may still not get service, but at least you have a chance, something a representative has been trained to deny you. I know. I was a service representative for Ma Belle in 1980.

ASK (for a credit) and ye shall receive!


Before allowing the whore into my bedroom, I cancelled Time Warner Cable due to poor customer service (always in Spanglish), but when TWC disconnected my service, at least they allowed me to watch programs I had recorded on their DVR device. The only thing AT$T left me with was their logo, along with the lie, “rethink possible” blaring me in the face on MY television screen — in MY home.


so I have to physically push the “on” button to watch a movie on my dvd player. It’s not that I am too lazy to get up. It is just that in a world where


rule, I step away whenever I see them coming.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this evaluation, I have slept with every cell phone carrier there is, and they all stem from the same greed — maybe not Consumer Cellular. I shall see.

If you do decide to sign up with Consumer Cellular, mention my phone number for a ten dollar discount — for you — and me. It is interesting how those in charge of “communication” communicate worse than any other. In order of worst to best they are:

— stars AT$T
☆ Sprint
☆☆ Virgin
☆☆ Verizon
☆☆☆ T-Mobile
☆☆☆☆☆ Consumer Cellular.

I admit, it’s been a few years since several of these carriers have told me to bend over, so they may have improved, but I doubt it. Two Dixie cups and a string might have worked as well as Sprint, and Virgin Mobil were unable to provide.

For eight years I was content with T-Mobil, but they kept promising year after year, they would be able to service an i-phone. After three years listening to their lies, being referred to as ‘Dear Valued Customer’ for over seven years, I finally gave up, and signed up with AT$T, three months before my T-Mobil contract was up — altered because I changed my plan from 1,200 minutes down to 800.

At the time, I had no idea how evil AT$T is. Even their logo resembles the dark mark of Star Wars, and that lie


Within weeks, the company sent me a disconnect bill for $300.00. They had not told me (or I was tired of listening), when I downgraded my plan, saving me but costing them, they started me on a new “contract”. I didn’t have to sign for it. They had my signature, on file.

Rating television service carriers from worst to best:

— 0 stars AT$T
— 0 stars Direct TV
— 0 stars Dish Network
☆ Time Warner Cable – The Best America has to offer — at least their picture comes through ungarbled.

Dish Network, and Direct TV were unable to provide a picture, and sound, without sound bites missing, and pixels getting all mixed up. I remember watching the Olympics:

“And the gold medal for the women’s ice skating goes to …” Then the sound and picture went on the fritz.

Of all the television providers, TWC is the least worst of them all.

So when looking for the best,
my advice to you all,
pass on all the rest
give Consumer Cellular a call.

And when you sign up with Consumer Cellular, they will deduct ten dollars from your first bill,


they will deduct and additional ten dollars from mine, provided you tell them Alan at 323 474 4777 told you to call —
AND they will do it all in English.

The bottom line: for a happy return, invest in Netflix, Trader Joes, and the American Automobile Association.

Now let us pray.

There is One cell phone provider.
This provider is Consumer.
This provider is whole, complete, perfect.
This provider is mine now.

I accept this Consumer Cellular service.
I give thanks for their caring representatives
who understand my needs,
I release all others,
knowing Consumer Cellular understands the meaning of the word


in the name of Consumers everywhere, I say

And so it is.


Watch where you spend your money.


About AmericanValuesRestored

"Glad to have you, Alan," said the A.D. The purpose of this blog,, is to provide thoughtful writing, and direct the reader to spiritually inspired videos on how to teach your cat to use the toilet, how to train your dog to make you heel, and references to the state of Abundance, as introduced in book I of my seven book series, 'A Boy Alone,' 'Obsessed.' Take a step into Consciousness. Check it out on Amazon Kindle, Kobo, Smashwords, and Barnes and Noble. For a good laugh, go to YouTube, and check out Meck&Miao, and Pokey. Some cute short videos under a minute include: 'Tonight's Entertainment.' 'Meck takes the stairs,' 'Meck and Miao examine the new puppy,' 'Happy together,' 'Afternoon Delight,' 'Pokey and Miao fight it out,' 'Meck and Miao attack,' and 'National Boxing Day." Meck&Miao and Pokey.
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